Jamai Sashti – A Foody Feast For Son-In-Law
Jamai Sashti – A Day When the Son-in-Law is Treated with Food Royalty
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You might have heard about Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, and even Sibling’s Day. But have you ever heard about a son-in-law’s day? Well, that is what Jamai Sashti is all about. Celebrated by the Bengali community, the day focuses on the pampering of the son-in-law or the Jamai, by the mother-in-law in the way mothers do it the best.
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Yes, you guessed it right, by feeding them all their favorite treats to their heart’s content. The festival is celebrated on the sixth day or Sashti of Krishna Paksha in the month of Jyestha of the Hindu calendar. You might also be surprised that the festival is supposed to be celebrated since the Vedic times!
Jamai Sashti – Why this celebration for Jamai Raja?
Well, if you are not familiar with Jamai Sashti, let me share with you about this festival. Even though the festival, like most other Hindu festivals, starts with a puja, the focus is mainly on extending the highest level of hospitality or pampering to the son-in-law. After all, he holds the position of utmost respect in all Hindu communities, including the relatively broad-minded Bengali community. On the festival day, the mother-in-law prepares a grand feast (often grudgingly) to show her love for her son-in-law.
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A father-in-law who needs to go to the veg and fish market knows how painful it is for him to manage this ritual of Saas-Jamai. Be it vegetables or fish, sweets or fruits, all are priced pathetically high on that day and will hurt the pocket of a sasur (father-in-law). But what to do, rituals are rituals, and neither the saas can’t stop showing off love for the Jamai nor the Jamai can overlook the lavish food served to him like no less than a Raja.
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Some people even believe that the saying, “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach”, is exemplified by the celebration of this festival. So, on this day, the mother-in-law and her son-in-law give rest to the quibbling that is quite common in this relationship. It is a day of dream come true for daughters as they watch their husbands and mothers bond with each other. It is a great relief for them not defending either side but enjoying their fun-filled banter. And this is despite knowing the fact that it is a temporary bond forced by tradition and only for a single day! Sometimes, many daughters wish to get such pampering and gestures from their Mother-in-law at least for a day!
The Sasuri Ma Saga Begins to Please The Jamai
If you are even slightly aware of how the Bengali people celebrate their festivals, you must surely know that they are anything but boring. Even the rituals associated with celebrating various festivals are quite interesting and exciting. So, you should not expect anything different from the rituals, and celebrations associated with Jamai Sashti!
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The day begins with the loving mother-in-law performing a small puja for her beloved son-in-law. As a part of the puja, she ties the sacred thread on his wrist. We Bengalis believe that tying the thread brings good fortune to the Jamai. In reality, the Sasuma desires that the bond between her jamai and daughter remains safe from the evil eye, and desires to see her daughter happy with Jamai forever after). Given the love of food that the Bengali people are known for, it is not surprising that the puja is not too elaborate.
And Here Comes The Feast – Jamai Raja Ki Pet Puja
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So, once the puja is over, it is time to feed the Jamai, the ritual he has been waiting for. The poor mother-in-law has to get up early in the morning to prepare the vast spread of delicacies to please his Jamai. The feast includes multiple dishes along with different types of desserts, after all, the Bengalis do love their mithai or Mishti. From luchis to aloo dum, to Rui macher jhol, Islish Bhape to bhaja, and shukto, and many more, the mouthwatering spread makes the son-in-law squeamish with culinary pleasure. No Bengali feast is complete with servings of fish, and not just one but at least two to three varieties are served. Eating all these delicacies naturally makes the Jamai Babu feel too full and seek a quiet place for a nap.
Time To Take A Nap For Jamai Raja After the Lavish Lunch – The belly full
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The loving mother-in-law, being well aware of the impact of her culinary competence on her Jamai, makes arrangements for him to take a nap even before he starts enjoying the feast. The Jamai takes up the offer of the nap partly to digest the feast and party to avoid any discomforting questions that might come popping from his dear Saasu Maa. So, as the feast ends, the Jamai needs to change to a more comfortable position to lie down to take the much-needed nap (Eating a grand feast is no small feat at all).
The Humorous Interaction Between Sasu Maa & her Jamai
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The highlight of the day is the exchange of fun-filled and humorous chit-chat between the mother and son-in-law throughout the day. It starts during the feast, and after the Jamai wakes from his nap the interaction continues. These often include jokes about the culinary skills of the mother-in-law, the table manners of the son-in-law, and everything in between. And neither the mother-in-law nor the son-in-law are allowed to take offense (or at least not show it outwardly) by the fun-filled banter. After all, it is the day to strengthen the unique bond they share (and also to give some respite to the poor woman who connects them)!
A Modern Take on Jamai Sashti
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Well, most modern mothers-in-law and sons-in-law tend to share a more congenial relationship. So celebrating Jamai Sashti is no longer just about preparing and eating elaborate meals. It now includes the ritual of presenting gifts to the Jamai Babu as an expression of love. Well, the gesture of the Jamai Rajas of Bengal for Sasuma remains different from the Son-in-laws of other parts of India. In Bengal, the Jamai also gifts a saree, a basket full of mangoes, and sweets to his Sasuri as a mark of respect equivalent to his mother. As if the promise of a delicious feast and great hospitality were not enough, the sons-in-law now have yet another reason to await the Jamai Sashti eagerly.
This blog post is part of the blog challenge ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’ hosted by Cindy D’Silva and Noor Anand Chawla in collaboration with Zariya Healings.
This post is part of the #BlogchatterFoodFest by Blogchatter.
‘the mother-in-law prepares a grand feast (often grudgingly)’
That made me chuckle 😂
Just a few days back I was saying that my husband gets all the pampering, from not only his family but also from mine. i guess that’s generally the case with most Indian/Hindu families. But I didn’t know there exists a festival also for this (like the jamai rajas need any more validation and attention) But it’s nice to know about it nonetheless. Thanks for sharing about it Samata
My goodness! Seriously!! Is there something like this for daughter-in-laws, too? (The poor woman who connects the mother and son in law?? Hahahahhaa… If not, we should have one if a family wants to have this Jamai festival. It’s only fair!
THis is the most significant difference in the UP culture and Bengali Culture, Bengali’s have a festival devoted to the Jamai, here Jamais do not have any dedicate day for them.
It’s nice to let go of all the differences for one day and just enjoy with the in-laws. How about starting a tradition for the daughter-in-laws as well? Bahu Divas, it should be. I think they deserve this love and pampering as well.
Wow, I didn’t know about this ritual at all, and its absolutely sweet, sweet! Jamai and Saas, I beleive, is a relationship that holds immense potential for love and affection, and that you have a ritual to enhance this bond is beautiful to say the least. And not to mention the fun and food. So happy you shared this blog.
Why is the mother-in-law doing it reluctantly? I thought MIL’s enjoy pampering their jamai.I think it is a great way t0 bond and embrace the new member, welcoming into the family. I heard about this ritual recently in my community. I would love to do this but my daughter refuses to marry
My sister’s helper is Bengali and one day she told us that she wouldn’t be coming to work the next day. When we asked her why, she explained about this festival to me. That’s how I got to know about this festival. This was something new to us. Thanks for sharing it here dear.
This post brought back so many fond memories of Jamai Sashti celebrations in my family. Your description of the dishes made my mouth water!
Jamai Raja and his pampering great. It looks like fun but mil have to made all these delicacy. You have to follow this every year ?
Oh my my really??? I was not aware of this Samata.
In our culture too the jamai is treated with utmost respect but we don’t have this feast… and Thank God!😛. Wish there was a daughter in law shashti too.
I’ve heard about this festival but didn’t know about it in such detail. While in-laws show their love through food I’m curious to know how the jamais digest all that in one sitting! We Marwaris don’t have a special day like this but every time the jamai is home he’s treated with utmost love and loads of food!
Glad you shared this post as I never heard of such a day before. I’m sure all Son in law’s are gonna be so happy reading this. Though in Indian culture son in law’s are usually treated with the utmost respect on every occasion he shows up at his in law place.
This article on Jamai Sashti is such a delightful read! It beautifully captures the essence of this unique Bengali tradition where the son-in-law gets treated like royalty. The detailed description of the rituals, the grand feast, and the fun banter between the mother-in-law and son-in-law made me smile. It’s fascinating how food and festivity bring families closer. Kudos for highlighting such a charming cultural celebration!
Yes,pampering the son-in-law is prevalent in most communities across India. An enlightening piece. Just have one typo/nit. You had written ‘neither the saas can’t stop’in one place. If there is neither it should be can ( not two negative)
Hi, what an honoured treat the Jamai enjoys at the in-laws and to their hardships. Does the custom continue in such a ceremonious manner to the present?
Wow!! Learned about something new today. Never knew such a tradition existed. Any such tradition for daughter-in-laws by their mother-in-laws??
Having been brought up in Kolkata, I have heard a lot about Jamai Shoshti. Indeed a good way to ensure bonding between the sons-in-law with their saasuma. I’m not sure if there is a similar festival in any other part of India.
I heard about Jamai Shoshti for the first time as a newlywed when I moved to Kolkata. It is a lovely way for the jamai to bond with the in-laws. India sure has some unique traditions.
Definitely one of the most awaited festivals in our culture. Beleive me , my parents struggle to come up with novel vegetarian dishes for their son in law.
Jamai Sashti! I got to know about this festival a few days back from a co-blogger’s Instagram post. It looks like an interesting festival where jamai Raja ki pet Puja is the main motive;)
I have heard of Jamai Sashti but I feel it is high time we have something for the women as well. Pampering and light-hearted banter are always welcome. I get you about the skyrocketing prices on the day. That is if you can source good produce and fish.
Jamai Sashti is such an endearing ritual, similar ones are there in other Indian states as well. You have explained it with so much detail and in an interesting manner. I especially loved the graphics.
Something very similar happens at Maharashtrian households here in Pune on the occasion of Padwa’s . Jamai raja is hero on that day. Full house and pampering. Loved our Indian culture.
Your article on “Jamai Sashti” wonderfully illuminates the cultural significance and joyous traditions of this Bengali festival. The detailed narration and personal anecdotes make the celebration come alive, fostering a deeper appreciation for the customs. It’s a heartwarming read that beautifully captures the essence of familial bonds and festive spirit.
What a fascinating tradition! Jamai Sashti highlights the unique cultural practices of the Bengali community, emphasizing familial bonds and the special relationship between mothers-in-law and sons-in-law.
A very enjoyable piece. It’s nice to know about other cultures and communities.
I had never heard of any such ritual but it is really exciting. .The names of the grand meal dishes tempted me and I felt like eating all.