K – Kindergarten Complaint
K – Kindergarten Complaint
Ani: Mumma, I don’t wanna go to school today. Plzzzzzz.
Mom (checking the clock): We’ve been over with this discussion, sweetheart. And you have to go.
Ani: Oh! Mumma I want to take a break from school for the next… um… 12 years? Is it not possible? I promise I will go after that.
Mom: Great! What are you planning to do in these just 12 years? Join a baby circus? Or become a member of the Delhi Zoo, where people will come to see you taking tickets?
Ani(thinking deeply): Maybe and the idea is not bad. Or if you help me I will open a cookie shop. I’m good at licking the creme of the cookie. You will make it and I will sit and lick it.
Mom: That’s not exactly a good idea, darling.
Ani (crossing arms): Well, school is exhausting. I had to share my crayons twice yesterday with my friend Ravi. Do you know how painful that is?
Mom: Sharing builds character. Don’t you know sharing is caring?
Ani: I have enough character. I’m practically a character factory. Ask me and I will show you multiple characters.
Mom: You’ll get to see your friends at school. Play with them, share tiffin, and help each other in completing tasks.
Ani: Not if I hide behind the potted plant again.
Mom: You hid? Why?
Ani: Because school has math. And rules. And scheduled bathroom breaks. I prefer the freelance life.
Mom (laughing): You’re five. What do you know about freelance?
Ani: I freelance my naps. No one tells me when to nap—I nap when the spirit moves me.
Mom: Spirit’s not moving today. Your teacher texted—today’s ‘Make Your Own Hat Day’.
Ani(eyes lighting up): Will there be glitter?
Mom: A mountain of it.
Ani(sighing dramatically): Fine. But only because I want to make a crown. For myself. Because clearly, I’m royalty trapped in a school system.
Mom: Your Majesty, your chariot—aka the school bus—is arriving in 5 minutes. Move!
Ani (walking like a star): One day the world will hear my story. The boy who almost dropped out of kindergarten.
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