V – Veggie Excuse

V – Veggie Excuse

Dad: Eat your vegetables!
Child:
I can’t! They don’t want to be eaten! They told me so!
Dad:
Oh really?
Child:
Yes! Mr. Carrot looked me straight in the eye and said, “Please, I have dreams, man. I was meant for greater things—like a five-star juice bar in Paris!”
Dad:
That’s a cooked carrot. He’s not going anywhere.
Child:
And that’s the tragedy! He was almost there! Then you steamed him and crushed his dreams!
Dad:
What about the broccoli?
Child:
Don’t even bring up Broccoli. He’s in mourning. His wife just got sautéed last night. It was brutal. The smell still lingers…
Dad: (
sighs)


Child:
And the peas? They’re organizing! They said, “Green lives matter!” and rolled off my plate in protest. They’re under the couch now, planning a revolution.
Dad:
You are unbelievable.
Child:
Thank you. The vegetables think so too. They nominated me for “Best Ally.”
Dad:
Eat. The. Vegetables.
Child:
Not unless you want a full-blown salad uprising.

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